Day 3 - Eight Fears

Welcome to Day three of the 10 day Blogger challenge.  Day One brought with it a list of 10 sekritz, some of which have already gotten me in trouble.  Day Two brought you 9 loves, one or two of which have also gotten me yelled at.  All in all it's been fun so I thought I would move on to Day Three...8 fears.  This is a good one.  Fears come from a deeper place than most things.  If you really want to know what a person's insecurities or anguish is about, really look into their fears...you'll find it.  I propose this will be the most interesting read of the ten days.

1.  Gas Masks.  This one actually came up just the other day when a friend pulled out his brand new gas mask.  He is a weird kid.  Generally, I have a little bit of a problem with people in masks, but it is not overwhelming.  However, you put someone in a gas mask, or god forbid try to put one on me, I will seriously freak out.  To me it is the single creepiest thing on the planet.  There is no possible good that can come of ever having/needing/using a gas mask.  Everything is bad.  Just seeing one makes me really, really uncomfortable.  I've never touched one and never will.  

2.  Blood.  This one is probably rather common.  I have something called vasovagal syncope.  This is a syndrome that causes people to faint via certain triggers.  I have two.  When I become dehydrated and feel any sort of pain, I can easily pass out.  Second, if I give or see someone giving blood I will get light headed.  This is the cause of my logical fear.  The illogical side arises when I see a needle go into an arm. If on TV I immediately turn my head.  However, if I watch something Like Jason movies or Saw I'm fine.  Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.  Seeing blood purposefully removed from someones body just seems so unnatural that it scares me.

3.  Cancer.  I can't explain this.  Doesn't run in the family.  Haven't seen it in anybody I'm close to.  I don't know...I guess I just picture it being something that happens to me.  See number 7.  

4.  The Mets.  If I never see the Mets win the World Series, that might just be the worst thing that could ever happen.  It has to happen, it just has to.  This is a genuine fear.  It might seem silly, and I suppose it is...but IT HAS TO HAPPEN!

5.  Being Alone.  And by this I mean just simply being in a room or anywhere really for extended periods of time without the physical presence of another person.  When I'm there and I am alone it doesn't seem to bother me as much.  It really is the prospect of being alone beforehand that freaks me out.  It's not a fear of anything happening to me.  Generally, I feel safe all the time.  It's just having nobody around to talk to, or help, or interact with...I don't know, it just seems like such a waste.  It seems like you don't matter at that point.  I always label myself a social person.  Perhaps that is just so I don't have to be alone.

6.  Women.  Yeah, you scare me.  If you had any idea how much of the world you control men wouldn't stand a chance.  The power you have over me, and all [straight] men really, is beyond any power anybody has ever had over anybody else in the history of ever.  Personally, I have been in situations where I was completely and utterly blind to how I was being treated because the women were pretty, smiled nice and tricked me into thinking they were good for me using their feminine form and lady weapons.  I consider myself a rather stubborn, strong-minded male and yet still found myself in that situation unbeknownst to me.  It's frightening when you think about it.  

7.  Bad Luck.  I'm pretty superstitious for a person who is tends to be empirically inclined.  I usually don't believe in things that can't be proven but I swear there is nothing worse than a streak of bad things.  Also, I'm a poker player so I am convinced bad luck exists.  As a gambler I fear any swings in the card gods.  Also, I'm a Mets fan.

8.  Financial Discomfort.  Growing up pops was a cop and momz was a special aid school aid so while I had everything I needed and some of what I wanted, I could see the financial strain on my parents.  My parents made a lot of sacrifices so me and my brother could have stuff.  I don't want to have to make any sacrifices.  I fear living paycheck to paycheck.  And I fear retirement.  I know how irritated and stressed I get when I'm financially strapped and it's terrible.  I don't know that I could live a whole life like that as my parents did.  

Day 2 - Nine Loves

Today marks day two of Ms. Huma Rashid's bloggy challenge where I am to divulge nine things that I love.  Several other wonderful folks have joined in the fun as well.  I like this day better than last.  Yesterday involved a very strange weighing of what I knew were my sekritz versus what I was willing to divulge publically.  I have no such hesitation when it comes to things I love.  My only fear is that not listing Huma will bring with it a backlash of Hoomzian proportion.  I guess that'll have to wait for the fear day.  ON WITH IT!

1.   The New York Mets.  I know, this is rather stereotypical of a guy to name his sports team as one of his loves...but I really do have a serious emotional connection with this team that goes beyond sports.  The Mets are the not-so-lovable losers.  They don't have the resources of their city brethren, the pedigree, the history or background, the advantages, or the admiration of their peers.  My insecurities lead me to identify with these sorts of problems.  I am a first generation college student, first generation lawyer, and first generation move the hell out of Staten Island-er.  A few years ago when the Giants won the Superbowl, I teared up, mostly because the Giants are the only team I share with my father, with whom I don't get along.  If the Mets were to ever win the World Series (big if!), I would be a balling, blubbering mess.  Literally, typing that sentence just now actually made my eyes slightly tear up.  This team means the world to me...not just because it's baseball...but because it's me. 

2.   Swimming.  I love swimming.  Not like exercisey swimming, but just jumping in a pool or lake and splashing around for a long, long time.  I didn't have a pool in my backyard growing up.  However, my family spent each summer in the Pennsylvania Pocono Mountains where my campground had a pool.  I used to go down to the pool at 10 am and not leave until 5 pm.  I was out of the pool for maybe 1 hour in between.  Even now, when I have access to a pool I never get out.  I sit there and prune up and splash around like a ten year old.  

3.   Scotch.  Yeah, I love Scotch.  Yesterday I mentioned a fear of alcoholism, but this is different.  It goes to a lot of aspects of my personality.  I love socializing.  I always wish to be out with people to converse with and there is no better place than sitting and having a drink.  I don't believe any spirit conduces itself to debate, sharing, hilarity, or reminiscing more than two fingers of Black Label.  I like that it burns a little bit.  It lets you know it's there.  I love the sophistication of it.  It makes me feel better about myself.  It's something to be earned.  As Roger Sterling of Mad Men, a noted Scotch drinker said, "we drink because it's good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it.  We drink because it's what men do".  

4.   Waterville, Ireland.  This is the greatest place I have ever been.  If I ever become wealthy enough to maintain three residences, I will have one here.  I consider it the most beautiful place on earth.  When I was 14 I went on a trip through Ireland with my older brother and cousin.  We pretty much stumbled upon this place accidentally and couldn't believe what we saw.  You can see pictures of it in this post.

5.   Blondes.  This is certainly not to the exclusion of other hair colored women...but I am an absolute sucker for a blonde girl.  It has caused....problems.  I have absolutely no idea why that is, or what it is about blondes...but I have trouble saying no.

6.   Manhattan.  I remember coming to the city as a child and always being amazed.  I was sure the only people that lived here were obscenely rich and important.  While I now know that not to be true, I think there is a subconscious adherence to that line of thought in my brain.  Even outside of that association I love everything about this city.  I love that I don't need a car and I can get anything I want, and I mean anything, in under a half an hour.  I love that I take the subway with my really famous mayor.  I love that there is a place for everything and everybody.  I love the way I feel when I'm walking around the streets.  I love that if you stay outside for just a few hours you will definitely see something amazing that you've never seen before.  I love that everyone has business to take care of and doesn't have time for pleasantries.  I love that a lot of the country thinks everyone here wears suits and ties to the office when in fact a vast majority of our workforce are blue collar to the core.  Most of all though, I love that I live in a place that to a lot of the world is a grand and impossible place to imagine living, much like I did as a kid.

7.   Breakfast.  By far the best meal of the day.  I think everyone can agree on bacon...so we can move on from there.  My perfect breakfast includes: orange juice, tea, unlimited bacon, unlimited toast, sunny-side up eggs, sausage links, blood pudding, and one piece of french toast.  

8.   U2.  This is my favorite band.  When their music comes on, I go into a trance.  "With or Without You" is my favorite song of all time...go ahead and mock me.  When we went on that Ireland trip I mentioned earlier we rented a car and had one cd CASSETTE with us, U2 the best of 1980-1990.  I fell in love on those car rides listening to an Irish band while driving by the fields, mountains and pubs of Ireland.  I've seen them live twice, once in May of 2004 and once in September 2009 and both were beyond amazing.  I know, Bono is kind of a douche...I get it.  I love his music.

9.   My Friends.  I know I mentioned them yesterday but it's worth mentioning again.  These people are my family and without them I would not survive.  I have a very, very close group of nine or ten people who have been close to me since 2005 and close to each other since 2003.  I have never been so comfortable with a group of people like this.  I struggle with the idea that some may leave one day, or marry themselves out of regular visits, or move on.  But while we are all still together I try to take advantage of every opportunity.

That was easier.

10 Days in the Tree

So I have not blogged since November.  I apologize.  I am taking the Bar exam in three weeks and decided the distraction of thinking of hullabaloo to present to you sparkling masses was too much of a burden for my measly mind.  That is until Faux Trixie (via the love of my life: Huma) presented something I could blog about where I did not have to think much. THAT.... I can hop on board with.

This Ten day challenge starts with 10 secrets about the Tree (me).  Back when I first planted the Tree I was regularly over-exposed in its pages.  I would divulge anything and, in fact, did.  I even attached my name to it....stupid tree.  Nowadays, a tad wiser, a pinch more damaged, and far less trusting...I find myself uncomfortable telling too much.  I am scared of people knowing too much about me, namely, people involved in my career.  I don't like this.  I consider myself open and honest and thus...will take part in this ten day challenge.  So, in no particular order:

1.   To those who don't know me very, very well I come off as a bit of a class-clown and sometimes even a person who takes important things so lightly as to be considered lazy.  I fear a vast majority of my law school classmates think this about me.  This actually offends me quite a bit.  I am far more thoughtful and passionate than people think and when others don't take me seriously, because I like to make people laugh any way I can, it seriously irks me.  I don't really tell people that....mostly because they wouldn't find it funny.  It is the thing in the world that bothers me most.

2.   I hate children.  Like, not just a little bit...but a lot.  My main exposure of late has been my almost 4 year old niece and nephew, both of whom I love very much, but both of whom I am more than happy to give back after an hour.  I have zero urge to have children....ever.  Now this can change, as many of my elder statesman have said it would....but I just don't see it.  I want to spend my time and my money on me and my future wife....and that is all.  I want to do as much as possible, and while "possible" includes children, they are most certainly to the detriment of everything else in the pie graph of "possible".

3.   In my life, up until about 4 years ago, I was never sure that any person ever liked me.  That's why I appreciate my college/current friends so much.  When I was growing up I spent a majority of my time at the baseball field.  My father was my coach, he was on the little league and babe ruth league board of directors and was the all-star team coach.  I was always certain that all my "friends" of that era A) didn't like me because they all felt I was only on all-star teams and playing a lot because my dad was in charge, and B) treated me well because they didn't want to upset the son of the guy in charge.  Then, throughout High School I went through the regular High School social structure and wasn't treated well.  I vowed to be different in college, but the same insecurities always hit me.  That changed in the fall of 2005, in my psychology lab.  (p.s. I was really good at baseball so eff them!)  

4.   I lost my virginity on September 11, 2002.  Yes, not quite as bad as one year prior...but still, that's kind of inappropriate.  Given, in reality it was 3 am of the night prior....but still, technically it was 9/11/02.  Not my proudest biographical statistic.

5.   I only went to law school so that I could be a sports agent and then made barely any attempt to make that happen.  I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do after college.  Before graduating with a degree in psychology I was accepted to several quality psychology graduate programs but decided not too long before the December '06 LSAT to attend law school and forgo seven years of psy. schooling.  I still hold on to that dream, but I have no idea how to make it happen, and sadly, very little faith that it is possible.  And now I'm stuck in a profession I'm not sure I like with no secure path to success within it.

6.   I have been in a relationship with someone (3 people) for 5.5 of the past 9 years and have never cheated on anyone.  The secret is that I came extremely close to cheating on one of them on two different occasions and was likely only an aggressive move from my counterpart away from it actually happening.  I guess that's not much of a secret, but if you know me, you know I'm pretty ashamed of that.

7.   On a not-so-completely unrelated note, I have personally ended two different relationships of two years or more including one engagement and almost fatally interfered with another two year-er, by being the other guy.  Note, it wasn't just fooling around, all three of them led to those relationships listed above.  I used to wear that as a badge of honor, as if I had conquered some guy.  Now, having grown a bit, and having now been on the other side of that coin...I see the error of my ways and why that is absolutely nothing to be prideful about.  I don't regret having done it, because I loved those relationships...I regret having taken advantage of their personal situations in a way that hurt someone else so much.

8.   I have at least two or three major stories that I tell people on a regular basis that are completely, completely made up.  These stories are about very serious subjects and I tell them in great, great detail.  I tell them often, I tell them in important situations, and I won't tell anyone which ones they are....but they exist.

9.   The one and only reason I have not moved to Europe is my friends.  They are the one thing I can't live without that is currently in my life.  If it weren't for them, THOSE BASTARDS, I would currently live in either France or Ireland...most likely France.  I love Europe, I'm not a huge fan of 'murrica right now, and I miss going to the doctor.

10.   I don't believe in God anymore.  At least, not in the traditional sense.  I used to self-identify as agnostic meaning I thought there was a higher power, who cared about us, I just refused to say it was Jebus, or Allah or Vishnu or whatever....because I could never know for sure and as long as God was good, he/she/it would forgive me.  Now, I always questioned this belief because I'm very weary of faith so it wasn't going to take much, but the last year of my life has eradicated any belief in a caring and observant God.  Nowadays, I believe there is some higher force or power that created everything at the "beginning" and had fulfilled it's duties at that time.  Although, on occasion, I still talk to my Grandpa.  I figure if anyone/anything up there will listen and care for me, it would be him.

Well, there's that.

"Alright already we'll all float on"

A long time ago a very, very close friend who just happened to be a true real life Wiccan taught me a special kind of dream.  She taught me a way that after some practice, and some luck, I could trigger a state of transcendental dreaming. sort of an odd form of lucid dreaming.  I don't recall the exact steps I took to make it happen, but I believe it involved laying still on my back and falling asleep while paying close attention to my level of consciousness and attempting to maintain control of my thoughts.  It required a certain level of concentration and nerves.  I recall it only worked once for me.  Traditionally, what I was taught happens is you experience falling asleep and then a feeling of being lifted off your bed and if you're able to maintain control and concentrate on not freaking out over the fact that you were floating above yourself you'd be able to stay above yourself and not only see what was going on from above, but exert some control over what was going on.  It is supposed to be a way of learning what is going on deep in your subconscious while at the same time allowing you to work out any issues that might be lurking.

The one time I somewhat succeeded I only got a few seconds in.  I was able to completely relax myself and had a level of concentration while attempting to sleep that I have never obtained before.  At the start I was aware that I was sleeping and dreaming and was able to control what I saw, and suddenly I felt myself lifting off of the bed...and I'm not kidding.  I actually felt like something, I don't know what, was lifting me from underneath and bring me closer to the ceiling.  Obviously I was still in bed, and I didn't stay focused long enough to look down and see myself still in bed, but I felt as if I was four or five feet off the bed.  This was rather scary...just imagine it for yourself and you can probably imagine how frightening it was.  I got nervous, lost concentration and focus, and immediately woke up.  I never got back to where I was, but it was certainly an interesting experience.

I bring this up because last night I was laying in bed for approximately two hours before I managed to fall asleep.  At some point I decided to will myself to lay perfectly still and concentrate on making myself fall asleep.  Any insomniacs in my readership have all gotten to this point, and also know how fruitless such as exercise can be.  Anyway, at some point I must have fallen asleep, or so I thought, because I did slip into a dream...except all the "dream" turned out to be was me lying in bed trying to fall asleep in a completely different room that I didn't recognize at all.  There was an air conditioning vent over my head and curtains flowing in the air from the AC, and a door all the way on the other side of a room that was made up of tile.  It was a rather drab and asylum looking room that actually frightened me.  When I sat up in my dream and looked around and didn't recognize where I was, I knew that I was dreaming.  In fact, my first thought was "I'm dreaming, this isn't actually where I am.  I am in my bedroom and I need to wake up"...and then I woke up.  It is strange when you are in a dream and know you are in a dream and even stranger when you can control some aspect of it.

Have any of you had the ability to tell yourself to wake up?  And if you did, did it work?  I'd love to hear strange dream stories.

It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now...

I don't personally have much going on right now. So I'll discuss something in the news. One of the top ten funniest men to ever walk the earth passed away yesterday and it needs memorializing. I was taught about movies by my cousin. I spent every summer of my life in a campground in the Pennsylvania mountains where I spent my days swimming, softballing, X-men-ing, tennis-ing and my nights were spent watching horror movies (see Halloween 5, In the Mouth of Madness, and Army of Darkness), sci-fi movies (see Star Wars) and most importantly, old dry comedies. These were my favorites. The ones that immediately come to mind are Clue, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and History of the World Part I. However, at the top of the list, my favorite comedy of all time, will sit Airplane!. It is simply the funniest movie I have ever seen. And the funniest parts of the funniest movie I have ever seen...almost uniformly belonged to the now late Leslie Nielsen. Sadly, the second funniest parts belonged to Peter Graves, who passed earlier this year.

Leslie also starred in the Naked Gun movies which were unbelievably hysterical in their own right. Perhaps you'll know them as those movies O.J. Simpson was in or as the movie version of his TV show Police Squad. Airplane! remains one of the two tests I have to determine whether I like a person's sense of humor. If they don't find the Airplane clip below funny, I don't want to be their friend (the other test is at the beginning of Monty Python and the Holy Grail where you hear the sounds of a horse approaching, except when it arrives its actually a guy banging two halves of a coconut together while skipping...I consider that the funniest moment in movie history).

I was really sad to hear Mr. Neilsen passed and wanted to at least mention it. And perhaps somebody who doesn't know about him, or Airplane! or the Naked Gun Movies (or any other movie I mentioned) will go out and see it...and that will make it worth it. He made some great movies and his dry, deadpan delivery in Airplane! is absolutely outstanding.

This is for you Leslie

His best Airplane scenes:

(There used to be a good video here, but it got taken down - go to youtube)

Tis The Season...Apparently.

Time to get in the Christmas spirit...sorry Jewish readers.  Someday I'll post pictures of 7 candles or chinese food.

Yes, the tree is up...as well as the stockings.  But infinitely more important...

The whiskey is in the nog...I repeat...the whiskey is in the nog.

Thanksgiving. Part Deux.

Yeah, that last post was kinda depressing, I get it.  Nobody read...nobody.  So here is a humorous thanks and non-thanks list post.  I hope you find me funny...if you don't, go fuck yourself (also, there's a serious list below it)

Things I'm thankful for:

1. Remotes have become longer but not wider in recent years.  It makes for excellent remote tossing and flipping while sitting on the couch.
2. Twitter: now I have an entire new and acceptable source for pictures of cleavage.
3. Scotch.
4. My blackberry:  How else would I be able to look at miniature porn and sext 17 year olds while on the train going back and forth between the free clinic.
5. The word spatula - say it...it's just a great word.
6. Jennifer Anniston's nipples.  I feel closer to them than my own mother.
7. I'm so jacked and tan.
8. They demolished the Spectrum in Philly the other day.  Seriously, fuck Philadelphia.
9. I don't live in Philadelphia.
10. That scene that is separate from the movie Darjeeling Limited but is still somehow part of the movie where Natalie Portman is completely naked except for her socks.  That was awesome.
11. The 1MX Express fitted button down.  That's just a nice shirt.
12. Women willing to cheat.
13. The way former Cincinatti Reds great Reggie Sanders looks in a baseball uniform.  The man was made to wear tight pants.
14. Scotch.
15. The Jersey Shore.  It's better than beer at making me feel good about myself.
16. The guy who invented "downward dog".  Thanks pal.
17. Johnny Depp.  He's really cool.
18. That despite being an out of shape boring white guy, I still look good naked.  What's that?  You don't believe me?  Then find out for yourself.  Please?
19. Mani-Pedis.  What, some of us care...Wolverine.
20. Lists.
21. Getting a boner just before getting fondled by a TSA security person.  No reason I should be the only one uncomfortable.
22. It's been so long since I've had sex that I am legally allowed to tell the next woman I sleep with that I'm a virgin.  She'll be amazed at how unbelievably adequate I am.
23. Scotch.

Thinks I'm not thankful for:

1. External genitalia.  Do you have any idea how many times I've sat on my own balls?
2. Being straight.  It would just be fucking easier to be gay, I swear.  
3. Being a white educated male.  Wait...wrong list.
4. Movies starring former/current/future wrestlers.
5. Women willing to cheat.
6. The law.  I fucking hate the law now.
7. I'm old enough now that a) my back hurts often, b) my hangovers last longer, c) I'm part of the unemployment rate.
8. The pressure that comes with being better than others.  It's a lot to handle.
9. My modest nature.
10. The Irish curse.
11. Vodka.  I believe if someone mixed a Peruvian hooker's work-sweat with lighter fluid...you'd get Vodka.
12. The pharmacy won't accept the Vicodin prescriptions written on a post-it...by me.
13. Any girl showing a pantie-line.  C'mon! It's 2010...what are you doing wearing underwear.

Thanksgiving.

Things I'm thankful for:

1. My brother, my sister-in-law, and my niece and the roof they've provided me.
2. My friends, without whom the last six months would have killed me.
3. The snow currently falling and the breath I can see in front of me.
4. My relative youth.

Things I'm not thankful for:

1. My absence in my city.
2. The constant struggle.
3. This empty spot in my heart that used to be full.

The holidays have always made me sad.  I guess I'm a seasonal depressive.  I don't know exactly why...perhaps it's because my family life has never been particularly strong.  I love spring and fall though.  I'll smile again then.  I promise to make a humorous thankful list later.

This year one person in particular is missing.  

You'll never read this.  But I miss you.

Rejected. Dejected.

This past Friday I had my first interview for a position as an attorney. It was with a small corporate/securities firm in Manhattan. And by small I mean it consists of the two named partners and three associates at all times. I say at all times because the associates working at the firm seem to be walking through a revolving door. Nobody stays there long and during the interview I just may have found out why.

I worked at this firm over the summer of 2009, so I knew what it was about. In fact, that's how I got the interview. I saw they were advertising on craigslist for an associate so I e-mailed the partner I worked under directly. He e-mailed me back and a week later a got a call asking me to come in for an interview.

The interview went very well up to a point. He was making clear that he wanted me to work there saying things like "we called you in here because we know you" and "Colin (the associate I worked with) had nothing but good things to say about you". I was happy it seemed the interview was a formality. However, the other shoe then hit me in the face. Towards the end he leaned forward and said "now I assume you've taken the bar and are awaiting the results". I haven't. I'm taking it in February...hopefully. I had to explain this to him. I offered the idea of working part-time for January and most of February because I need most all of those days for studying. He then went on to explain they are a small firm, with small business clients who aren't flush with money and thus it is hard to take on part-time attorneys even for a short time and because of the size of the firm they needed someone in the next few weeks. He didn't outright say I'm sorry that disqualifies you, but the way he said "I'll have to talk to my partner" said all that had to be said. Also, today they reposted their ad on craigslist...so I assume that means I didn't get the job.

It's disappointing. I didn't take the exam this past summer because of a complete misunderstanding and unfortunate circumstances...and now it has screwed me out of a job. Now, the job sucks. The reason his associates roll in and out of the firm is that they expect there associates to work 55 hours per week. He said typically everyone works 9 am to 9 pm. That's ridiculous but is justifiable should you be getting paid well. However, he admits the firm is well on the low end of pay scales...the salary rounds out to about 47k for the first year. That is absolutely absurd and is just an awful awful rate. But I am in no position to turn anything down. Plus I'd be getting a lot of good experience. I'd be writing stock purchase agreements, promissory notes, working on mergers and acquisitions, writing and editing contracts, working both transactions and litigation, as well as general corporate advice. Basically, I'd be learning by doing stuff that is really really boring and nobody wants to do...making me fairly marketable after a year. And I don't get to do it because I have to fucking take the bar this February. Unreal.

Absence...sweet sorrow...etc.

Sorry for my absence the past week. I left thursday afternoon for my triumphant return to New York City. I stayed the weekend because me and my friends were having our annual fall tradition known as Friendsgiving. Essentially, it is a pot-luck get together of everyone of our friends. We started this tradition in 2008 and have done it each year since. It has actually caught on quite a bit.  People actually think of it as an important tradition already. It's nice to keep up with these kinds of things as we get older. Each year there are more and more couples at events like this and sooner or later those couples will turn into marriages, and those marriage will then have children...which will limit our ability to do these kinds of things. We need to get them in while we can.

I take the bus down from PA on thursday afternoon and meet my buddy Chris with whom I was staying the first two nights with. We're driving around as he finishes up some work in the lower east side and I find a perfect example of why I love New York City and in particular the lower east side. While parked on the corner of 2nd avenue and 5th street, as Chris takes a phone call, I crack my window to get some air and notice a fella facing the wall. This is what makes NYC great...it's 4:30 in the afternoon, still pretty light out and he's just pissin on the side of a building (I think it was a restaurant) right there on the corner where everyone going in every direction can see him. He wasn't drunk and he wasn't homeless...he just didn't care...god bless him. This, however, wasn't the best part. As I'm watching from the car a young lady walked by via the sidewalk in between myself and the vigilante bar pisser. She, of course, takes notice that he's pissing on the wall and can't help but look. Now, the VBP might be willing to piss in public, and full well knows people will see him...but he doesn't want to be made to feel insecure about his corner-store urination. Still peen-in-hand he starts screaming at the girl "DON'T YOU WATCH ME PISS. WHA-CHOO LOOKIN AT!" Once done, he zipped up, and followed her around the corner to continue reminding her how out of line she was in looking at the guy pissing on the wall in the middle of the day in plain sight. God I love NYC.

Then on Friday there were two things on the agenda. I have an interview - a REAL LIFE LAWYER INTERVIEW - about which I will blog tomorrow. Second, we were having a cocktail party with all our friends. Sort of a pre-friendsgiving night out. Us fellas decided to suit up for the occasion. Let's just say the night began as an adult party with well dressed men, tasty hors d'oeuvres, and fine conversation. However, at some point things changed and it became a raucous drunken festival of sorts. I say "at some point" because I unfortunately blacked out. I was drinking Old Fashioned's the entire night, and was unable to turn down the sugary shots the ladies were doling out.  I am actually quite upset that I allowed myself to get that drunk...I had had a tough day...but I didn't want that to happen. While I was told I held myself together and behaved, it is still embarrassing and I don't want it to happen again. I'm not fucking 22 years old anymore.

My Yams are top left

Anyway, so the next day is Friendsgiving. I wake up after four hours sleep and can't walk or move my head without feeling nauseous. So, when we arrive at the house we were eating in, I took a three hour nap. I felt better when I awoke and went on cooking my candied yams. 8 yams boiled for 40 minutes, mashed, combined with 4 tsp of butter, 1/3 a cup of high fructose corn syrup, 1/4 a cup of maple syrup, 1/4 a cup of brown sugar... topped with a bag of small marshmallows and baked for 40 minutes. Didn't turn out too bad. Nothing spectacular, but a good interpretation of a thanksgiving classic. The food was good. Only a couple of us really know how to cook, but somehow each friendsgiving we pull it together and each make one good dish.

Next I moved on to Daves where I spent Saturday and Sunday night. We went out to a place called Libation on Saturday to meet up with an old family friend of Daves who is clearly and completely in love with him. I was told, by her, how they were best friends in the whole world at minimum 317 times (comedy rule number 1: prime numbers are funny). Despite this she was a really nice girl and it was entertaining hanging out with her. After taking the out-of-the-way route of cabbing her home from the nexis of the universe aka 1st and 1st, all the way up to 91st street, we found ourselves at the McDonalds in Murray Hill (mid-thirties and 3rd ave for my out-of-towners) for a late night snack. We should have been there all night. I've never seen so many beautiful and friendly girls in a fast food restaurant. And it wasn't as if all 12 of them came together and that is easily explainable. There were about 3 different groups of entirely way too attractive for McDonalds at three in the morning...girls. And they were friendly, and witty...and one was slightly racist (see this tweet). It was odd.

So that was my weekend. I'm sad it is over and I won't see my friends or my city for several more weeks...probably around New Years. I'll talk about my interview tomorrow.