What's In a Dream?

I recall last night my last conscious thought before falling asleep was "oh great, my dreams are gonna be fucked up tonight".  I had taken some get-to-sleep pills that were not working.  This meant at some point I was going to be slipping in and out of consciousness without actually being tired.

I remember at the beginning of my sleeping I had a vision of a ghost coming at me from across a courtyard and it morphed into a black cat and ran into an alley next to me.  This scared me to no end and I woke up...frightened.  I didn't fall asleep again for an hour and a half.

I don't remember much of my dreaming from last night, just the last few minutes of the last dream.  The good news is it was a doozie mentally.

As is probably the case for most people a lot of the occurrences in my dream don't make a lot of sense both mentally and physically.  What I mean is things happened that can't physically happen in real life.

I got into my father's SUV with him and my brother and we were on our way to a children's party, sort of like a Chucky Cheese type place.  I have a 4 year old niece.  We were being followed another car which I presume had my sister-in-law and my niece in it.  In our car was to be my mothers family.

My Uncle got in, who immediately started fighting with my Dad.  I can't explain this, but I got into it with him...literally.  I punched him in the face a few times.  EXPLAIN THAT!?  I can't...I like that Uncle.

A few missed turns, a few bad directions, a lot of yelling, my brother leaving our car for the other, and a few forgotten people later....we arrive at a bridge overlooking an epic river.  And when I say epic I mean it.  I couldn't see the other side.  And when I say bridge I mean a rinky-dink wooden bridge like one you might think Huck Finn would cross.

This is where the physically unexplainable only-in-a-dream change occurs on the spot.  Suddenly, instead of in an SUV with my father and some family who I barely recognize, I'm on a go-kart of some form, sitting in the front seat with my mother.

We turn into the bridge's on-ramp and just as we're about to begin making our way across the bridge two hooks SLAM into the edge of the bridges sides.  I look to my left and there is a boat waiting.  I realize that this machine I see in front of me is going to draw this bridge so that the boat can pass.

Having now realized we were in for a wait (we weren't, in about 2 seconds the bridge was drawn and the boat was gone ---- ahhh dreams) I started checking on our situation.  The kart I was in had one wheel hanging off the edge of the ramp and this made me feel real unsafe.  My mother started asking attendant if there was any way across the river without having to use this ramp...she apparently didn't like the looks of it.

Then I turned and stared across the water.  And my alarm went off.

So there I was...having been brought to this place by an arguing family, a father trying his best but failing, a mother looking for a short-cut, going from a big SUV to a tiny go-kart, one wheel hanging off the side, my brother having gotten out a while back....staring across what had to be the mightiest river in the world and there was no bridge.

I woke up drenched in sweat.

That final view I had, looking across a bridgeless river...that's how I feel right now.  I've extended school as much as I can.  The bridge is drawn.  It's now time to sink or swim.  I'm terrified.

"Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy." - Sigmund Freud

He'd probably have a field day.