Friday, November 5, 2010

Honey, you're never going to meet Ryan Reynolds

I'll admit it, I'm a bit of a Teevee snob. I consider 99% of television shows to be absolute mindless dribble. However, there are some shows I cannot get enough off. I believe that's what makes a teevee show great: re-watch-ability. If you can watch the same episode of a show twice in a two month period, and enjoy it each time, that is a great show (or a great episode). Some of my favorite examples are The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Scrubs, Arrested Development and Seinfeld. I can watch any episode of those shows more than once and enjoy it thoroughly.

As it turns out, the other day I was watching one of my favorite episodes of the show I consider to be the most re-watchable (don't judge me), Friends. You remember the "freebie list" episode, right? The one where the gang makes the list of the top five celebrities they'd be allowed to sleep with should the opportunity arise, without suffering any consequences from their significant other. I think we've all had this conversation with our friends and/or boyfriends or girlfriends. I consider it a very important list that I like to keep up to date based on currents events, career arc, hotness fluctuation, recent trends, taste maturation, as well as any subsequent "improvements" made by the celebrity. I was also inspired by seeing what I believe was a skin-care commercial, with Kate Hudson in it. I had not seen Kate Hudson in a very long time, and she reminded me I needed to consider her for my list.  Also, I'm stuck in Pennsylvania with no car and nowhere to go, so not a whole lot is going right now, so personal stories of goings on are lacking.  I promise it'll perk back up once I'm back in New York City.

With all of this in mind I decided to revamp my top five list. Here you go, and as always, feel free to comment:

5: Keira Knightley: She may be stick figure thin, which typically is not my thing, but my god, have you seen the movie Atonement?

4: Kate Hudson: This is probably, in large part, due to the fact that she is the star of my favorite movie, Almost Famous. Sometimes it is all about the attitude, and she just seems fun.

3: Jessica Biel: And then sometimes it is all about the ass. If you don't know what I'm talking about go watch I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

2: Scarlett Johannson: Remember the see-through pink underpants at the beginning of Lost in Translation? No? I don't either.

1: Natalie Portman: Ever since she was Padme in the Star Wars movies she has been atop my list and has never been even approached by someone else. I consider her perfect: ivy-league educated, New York, beautiful, talented, and funny. Sold.

Now, I realize I have a certain amount of lady listeners (silly rabbit, you can't listen to a blog). I also have excess manly, so I can afford to give some away by making a list of what my top five would be if I were a woman, so that my lady listeners (damnit, again) have something to argue in their heads about, though with no explanations this time, that'd be weird. Note, they will probably be stereotypical "hunks" because frankly, guys don't think about this a lot, except for number 1...that one just makes sense to me. Here you go lady listeners (I give up):

5: John Legend
4: Colin Farell
3: George Clooney
2: That dude who plays soccer who married the Spice Girl
1: Ryan Reynolds


The Faux Trixie said...

You have apparently never seen Taylor Kitsch.

Timbo Jones said...

I had not. But then I IMDB'd him and he has both narrated an ESPN documentary and played Gambit (the character I used to pretend to be when we play X-Men as a child) in the Wolverine he's OK by me.